11/06/2013

It isn't always easy

Vivo con mi abuelo de 90 años. Sé que tengo suerte de poder decir eso, sobre todo porque está en buena salud, en pleno uso de sus facultades, le interesa el mundo en que vive, estudia varias cosas, está haciendo proyectos de consultoría... es decir, está vivito y coleando. Y debería estar agradecida.

Lo estoy, la mayor parte del tiempo. Aunque la verdad es que vivir con alguien de esa edad puede ser pesado. Sus hábitos, buenos y malos, se enquistan, se encierran en sí mismos y se les olvida que la gente a su alrededor también merece respeto y atención.

Así que hay días difíciles. Algunos no tengo tanta paciencia como debería, soy brusca y tal vez hasta grosera. No le hablo mucho, o no justifico sus acciones sólo por su edad. Lo intento, se los juro. Meditar y la práctica del agradecimiento me han ayudado a controlar mis reacciones, pero sé que debo enfocarme más en el privilegio que es tenerlo aquí en vez de darle vueltas a los momentos malos.

Haré un mayor esfuerzo. Voy a incorporar meditaciones de amor y compasión a mi rutina, aunque sólo sean 5 minutos diarios. Recordaré respirar hondo antes de responderle. Y sobre todo, recordaré agradecer que sigue aquí y que podemos compartir con él.





I live with my 90 year-old grandfather. I know I'm lucky to be able to say that, and we're especially lucky that he's in good health, full use of his faculties, interested in current affairs, studying different things, trying to find consultancy projects... in short, he's alive and well. And I should be grateful.

Don't get me wrong, most of the time I am. It's just that sometimes, living with someone that age can be difficult. Their habits become more ingrained, they turn inward and forget that those around need are deserving of respect and kindness. And he never was very affectionate to begin with.

So some days are harder than others. Some days I don't have as much patience as I should, I am brusque and maybe even rude to him. I don't talk as much, I don't condone all his actions on the basis of his age. Believe me, I try. Meditation and the practice of gratitude have certainly helped me control my reactions a little, but I know I should focus on what a privilege it is to have him here, rather on those difficult moments when he doesn't show appreciation for all we do for him, especially my mom.

I will try harder. I will incorporate meditations on loving kindness, even if it's just for a few minutes every day. I will remember to breathe deeply before I answer him. And above all, I will continue to be grateful that he's around and we can still share our lives with him.




Linking up with Erika





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