10/16/2010

I feel like I'm rushing headlong into... what? Destiny? To say that seems base, it sounds empty. But that's the closest I can get to describing it. It's like I'm walking towards a deadline (my birthday?) but I have no idea what it is I'm supposed to achieve by then. Or perhaps it will be a new beginning. Whatever else it may be, it's a threshold. If I only knew what's waiting on the other side...
  It's like I'm going crazy. My dreams are not that different from my daydreams. I can't focus, I don't know where I'm going. Too much time alone inside my head, with a few trips outside... and into books, which only feed my fantasies.
  I am lost, turning endlessly in circles, chasing my own tail. Will this stop? I need to find a compass that points North so that I can start walking again, carefully, slowly, stopping to smell the roses but never losing sight of that final destination.
  And please don't push me. I don't want to hurry if I'm walking in the wrong direction.



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