3/26/2010

Los XV

And so the dreaded moment has arrived. After around three years of not speaking or seeing him, I will meet my father today. The event is my cousin's fifteenth birthday, and we are all invited. It would be extremely naive of me to not imagine he will be there. I have no idea how I will react... or how he will react, for that matter. Will he come to me, speak to me? Or will he pretend he doesn't know me? What will *I* do? I dread this meeting. But I guess I also secretly hope it will be a new beginning, one in which we both behave as mature adults (what we are supposed to be) and where we establish a new relationship.
There are many things I have to ask him, about family, about our past, about my story, that only he can answer. I am afraid of what he has to say, but I'd rather begin asking questions now and not regret that I didn't when it's too late.
Maybe I'm chasing mice inside my head, but I hate uncertainty, and right now, this is uncertain. What's going to happen? What will we do? What will we say?



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